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Sue Parrish
Sue Parrish runs Sussex-based Eleganza Weddings with her husband Clive. Contact: 0845 434 8089 or www.eleganzaweddings.com. |
Sue Parrish answers all your Wedding Planning related questions |
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What do we need to do next?
Q. We are taking a three-week honeymoon straight after our big day. I know there will be wedding-related things to sort out when we get back, but I'm not exactly sure what. Can you give me some ideas?
A. Sue Parrish says: After your wedding and your honeymoon there are several things you need to focus on doing. It's best to give priority to sending thank you cards to all your wedding guests and any others who have kindly given you a gift. Also, it's good to send an email or a card to any suppliers whose service you were happy with. If you are willing to act as a free referee for any of them, do make sure you mention this in your correspondence. You will also need to notify your bank, doctor, dentist, employer and any other organisations of your change of name and status. Finally, don't forget to have your wedding dress cleaned before storing it in a suitable box with acid-free tissue paper. |
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What are information sheets used for?
Q. A friend has mentioned that it is a good idea to have information sheets printed for wedding guests. What should my fiancé and I include on these and when is the best time to send them?
A. Sue Parrish says: Information sheets have become more and more popular recently and it is best to send them with your invitations. They should include any information that you think will be helpful for your guests such as directions to the ceremony and reception venues. Other details like accommodation available at the venue or close by, and any transport options including the numbers for local taxi firms will also be very helpful. |
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Is it possible to cut costs at this stage?
Q. My fiancé and I are very concerned about our wedding budget. We have only booked the venue, the catering, the photographer, florist and transport and have used up most of the money we had saved for our wedding. How can we cut costs on the other areas of our big day?
A. Sue Parrish says: Unfortunately, there is not much you can do about the bookings you have made as you will have fixed cost commitments and will have signed contracts. There are several ways to cut costs but one of the ways to make a big difference to your budget is to reduce your guest numbers. For example, if you have 10 tables of 10 guests planned and you work out the cost of 10 meals, a flower centrepiece, favours, any table décor, and drinks, you will see it will make a significant difference if you cut out just one table. Have a look at your guest list again and review how you can reduce the numbers.
Before you book anything else, prepare a budget
spreadsheet estimating how much you can afford before going ahead with any further expenditure. |
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Do we need to send invites?
Q. We are preparing our invitations to send out for our wedding day and are not sure if we should send one to our parents and the rest of the bridal party. They have all been involved in our planning and know the date and time of the wedding so do we leave them off the list?
A. Sue Parrish says: No you should not overlook them and you most
definitely should send them their own personal invites. You are right that they know all about your wedding, but they will still want to receive an invitation from you and it is the correct thing to do as they would probably like to have this as a keepsake of the wedding. I have even known brides to send one to themselves so that they have one as a memento. |
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Top Kids
Q. We have two flowergirls aged five and seven in the bridal party and we are not sure where they should sit at the wedding reception meal. Should they sit on the top table with the rest of the bridal party or with their parents?
A. Sue Parrish says: It is usual for flowergirls and pageboys to sit with their parents and not join the top table. If one of the child's parents is a bridesmaid or best man then their family could be included on the top table. However, most couples decide to seat the children attendants with family and friends who they know well. This arrangement works well because fi dgety children on the top table will be a distraction to the other guests and an embarrassment to the parents! |
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Far and wide
Q. Most of our guests are travelling a fair distance to come to our wedding and many will be arriving the day before we marry. We have reserved hotel and guest house rooms, but do we also need to provide transport for the day as most of them will not be familiar with the area?
A. Sue Parrish says: Many couples do arrange some form of transport between the ceremony and reception venues. This is usually appreciated by guests as it is convenient for them, and can help make sure the day runs to time as guests won't delay proceedings by getting lost or not being able to park. You could make a feature of the transport by having a double decker or vintage bus.
Some couples also provide transport such as a minibus at the end of the evening to take guests safely to their accommodation. However, you should not feel obliged to do this particularly if your budget is tight as no one will expect transport to be supplied. However, you should ensure that your bridesmaids and elderly guests have transport arranged for them. |
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Music to the ears
Q. We are having a civil ceremony and would like to have music at our wedding. We have heard that some music will not be acceptable and we are very concerned. Why might there be restrictions on our choice of tunes?
A. Sue Parrish says: The choice of music for your ceremony is vast, as long as you remember that the music must be non-religious. Marriage legislation makes a difference between a religious and a civil ceremony but the interpretation may vary depending on the registrar. Unfortunately there is not a list of what is acceptable. If there is something you particularly want but you feel there may be a problem with, you could check with the General Register Office (GRO) on 0151 471 4803. Alternatively, speak to your local superintendent registrar who will be responsible for conducting your ceremony. Do be aware that your registrar will want to check your complete music list prior to your wedding to see that they are happy with your choices. |
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Keeping costs down
Q. We have a very limited budget and are trying to keep the costs for our wedding to a minimum. How can we cut costs but still have the day of our dreams?
A. Sue Parrish says: Firstly, remember it is not necessary or essential to have to spend more to have a wonderful wedding day and there are many practical things you can do to cut down on the overall outlay.
Start realistically and rule out expensive venues with high costs for meals and drinks, and consider instead local halls, club halls, pubs with large function rooms or maybe a relative with a large garden you could borrow for the day.
You can purchase décor items in sales to transform the reception area, provide your own drink and catering which will keep costs down. Making your own stationery is another area in which to save money and there are many craft and stationery kits to help you.
Don't forget any relatives and friends who have skills that can be applied and will probably be very pleased to help you with such things as making the cake, the dresses and some personal home made favours. |
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Anything goes
Q. Can you help me with the right time to have the speeches and toasts at our wedding as we are not sure what is best? Also, is it alright for me as the bride to say a few words to follow the main speeches?
A. Sue Parrish says: Traditionally, wedding speeches are at the end of the meal when coffee and tea are normally served with Champagne for the toasts.
However, it is becoming quite popular now to have the speeches before the meal when everyone is first seated as some feel they would prefer to have the stresses associated with the speeches behind them to enjoy the meal.
Of course many couples do still feel that speeches are received better when guests have full stomachs and have had a drink with dinner!
Finally, it's perfectly ok for the bride to say a few words and a nice touch is for you to end by toasting family and friends for sharing your day with you. |
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Making the most of friends and family
Q. We have loved ones travelling from abroad and many places over the country to be at our wedding. We are very conscious that they are all making such an effort to be with us that we want to make the most of the time. How can we do this and make sure we spend time with our close friends and family?
A. Sue Parrish says: This is a worry for so many brides and grooms so you are not alone. On your wedding day it is impossible to spend time with all of your guests unless you have a small intimate wedding with about 35-40 attending.
The best way is to arrange something like a meal or buffet the night before with a group of your guests either at the venue or a nearby pub or restaurant.
During the afternoon you could also organise for the lads to go off and have some time together and perhaps a round of golf or similar activity whilst the girls spend time in a beauty salon and spa.
This way you can enjoy some quality time with your close guests and ensure that you do not have to worry after your wedding that you have left anyone out. |
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Search for a professional
Q. My fiancé and I really want to have a live band for the evening of our wedding day but don?t know what to consider when looking for one?
A. Sue Parrish says: You are right to think carefully before booking the services of a band as there are so many to choose from and it is so important for you and your guests that you make the right choice.
Always ask for a demo CD, or even better a DVD so you can hear them play and see them perform, and check references from previous clients. Check that they will dress well and fit in with the mood of the day; black trousers, shirt and tie will be a safe option.
Also, if you book through an agency check that you will be able to speak directly to a band member before your wedding to talk about your first dance and play list. |
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